Dull but enjoyable Christmas!

Christmas this year sucked real badly! Especially if you're spending in Cameron Highlands!
The whole place was utterly oblivious to the fact it was CHRISTMAS!!!

I had fun though! Met some crazy people while going up to a freezing tower in the middle of the night as the wind swept through! Read a really really nice book about love and the pain of living and love.

Hoping for a great New Year's Eve!!!!!

Trying to smile for a better tommorow.

I read somewhere the other day that if you're feeling lonely, listen more than you talk.
As you listen, you're filled with the wonders and beauties of life through different eyes.

Listen to their dreams, let it inspire you.
Listen to their sorrows, let it bring you hope.
Listen to their hearts, let it be a reminder that you are not alone.

All around people are moving on, yet I still find myself rooted at my feet.
I find happiness in their fortunes yet a sense of grieve lingers as I find myself the only one incapable of moving forward.

I am trying to listen, but I cannot hear.

The absence of love.

Everyone seems to have their own problems to deals with, yet it feels like the world is still being unfair. I've been in love before, I think I did, I hope I did.

The feeling where you can pour your heart out and give them your all is a feeling I've been missing of late. Loving someone is when you don't hold back. Giving them everything you can give and beyond.

Saying I love you use to mean
I give you my soul,
my body,
my today,
my tomorrow
and most of all my heart.

It use to mean I''m giving you my life because there is where it belongs,
in your hands forever.

I miss being in love.

A cry of loneliness.

Sometimes the world feels like its just too tough to continue on. Everyday waking up becomes a chore that is unbearable.

I'm not someone who has everything, I've worked hard to gain all that I have wanted. Yet, I find myself alone everyday wondering why people who do so much less have so much more.

Loneliness is a constant companion, wanting not to lose myself with a stranger for a night yet the search for someone special has taken its toll on me.

Yes I am alone, miserable and desperately lonely.

Haha!

Careful who you insult.

Shocking revelation!

It turns out! I do have a life! Shocking I know~
haha So what better way to tell the whole world of this astounding find!!
and yes, my world is a little smaller compared to yours. :P

Its the last week of the semester break and guess what! My friend De Yang and his girlfriend Ivy came down for a visit!

So to prove I really do have a life, this post is gonna be like the ones you find on other countless blogs that tell you what they did on a certain day with a million pictures to show and are about half a page long. HAHAHAHA!

To start off, we went to Black Stone Beach as we were invited by the ultra busy Quek and the super genius Dennis on the day that they arrived here in humble old Kuantan.


Basically its a stretch of beach littered with black rocks.

That night however, we woke up early! 4am!!!!
cause we were going up Panorama Hill in Sungai Lembing with the goal of watching the world come awake up above.

BUT!!! it was really cloudy that day so we didn't get to see much after quite a hike up the hill and just so you know, all three of us are nowhere near fit enough.



As the sun continued to rise, it revealed a magnificent view of the surrounding mountains and mist that took our breathes away. The clouds below us was just a sight to behold.







Deyang and Ivy posing at the steps.


All in all, it was a really nice trip.We completed the day with a trip into town before going back home to a home cooked crab dinner prepared by mum! Yeah us!

It seems I do have a life! hahahaha.

Getting to know yourself!

Every person has its own traits and personality.
It makes us who we are and how we react and most of all SPECIAL!

I found this nice little web that helps determine your personality types based on Myers-Brigss Type Indicator!

Get to know yourself better!!

Be sure to check out the links below after you've done the test to find out what is really means!!

Especially the last one " Relationship info based on your type" :P

Have FUN!!! CLICK HERE!!!

Doing nothing. ( LAME!!! )

The sun was out and crawling through the curtains. A young man fast asleep would soon be awaken to another day. 'Ray!!!! Time to get up! Its almost noon!' cried his mother as she came storming up to his room.

Half and hour later, Ray found himself sitting at his usual place in front of the computer as he went through his daily routine of checking his Facebook and other internet activities.

My life is boring. I'm no different albeit having a larger belly to the old me a year ago. He admitted silently in his heart. 'I gotta change! I have to make a change! I'm wasting my life away like this,' he said.

One week later,
A month,
A year.
Nothing changed.

Ray was all talk, he knew what he had to do yet he never got down to doing it.
That's why he is known to many as,

Lazy Ray.

Harden not your heart.

Harden not your hearts in the face of adversity,
open it further for love comes unexpectedly.

Enrique Iglesias - I Like It

Enrique showing you the sexy side of doing something naughty!

A true friend.

A friend is something special.
A friend is someone you depend on, someone who knows you better than everyone else.

A friend is someone who does what you can't do and leaves you to do what he can't do.

Everyone should at least have one.
Cause a friend is what everyone needs.

Insercurity has me running scared.

Every morning that comes brings about a new day.
yet it feels no different from yesterday.

Hoping for a better tomorrow yet when tomorrow comes, nothings changed.

Being but a fool wanting a new beginning in the midst of never taking a step forward.

A fool running from the past ;
hiding in the present ;
scared of the future.

Having the courage to get back up!

Have you had your heart teared apart so badly that you wished you never met the one who tore it?
Its a feeling that only a few can describe and comprehend.

Will it ever heal? Will we be always haunted by it till we are unable to cast it aside and love again? Who knows?
but
For me, being able to be hurt so badly by a single person is something to be proud of.
For it shows that you fell, you fell deeply into the depths of love.

Cause it is because you loved that you could be harmed,
and being able to love is the most magical thing there is.

We just need to find the courage to do it again, and not let the past stop us.

Have the courage to fall again and hope this time that special someone catches you.

Let me prove my worth!

Give me a chance!
Give me a chance!

Give me a chance and I'll take it!
Let me prove to the world my worth.
Let me earn the respect I crave.
Let me carve out my presence in life and show once and for all I am worth something!

Just hoping for a chance.
A chance to be a somebody.

A warm hello if you please.

Been back home and its nice to be back. It puts into perspective what really matters and who are really there for you.

Life's unique that way when you find the world forgetting you, you find someone whose always been there who didn't forget you.

I have a confession to makes, been adding random strangers ( pretty girls :P ) all the time hoping I make a new friend but to no prevail. LOL! Facebook keeps asking me if I really know the person I'm adding and has actually banned me from adding new people! wow wow!
Come on... can you really blame me for being friendly? :P

I don't really write bout my life cause basically I don't really have a life to write about! and not getting any comments or feedback kinda SUCKS! Would be nice to have a fleeting "Hi" once in a while. :(
I've had people say I have silent readers who browse through, could you drop a comment please to tell me you've been here? haha

As always, a nice little sentence to end a post.

You know nought of a stranger, that's why they are called a stranger.
so don't judge what you know nought of.

Loving you.

There will be one who touches you.
One who knows you better than you do.

The one who loves you.

Yes, I am better than you.

Don't blame others who looked down on you.
Blame yourself for not being able to prove them wrong.

Accepting defeat.

Knowing how to lose is what makes a winner.
Knowing when to let go is what makes a lover.

Heart and Soul go together.

Love is knowing you've found the one without the mind having to tell you so.

It was a decision.

People like you never get it.
You didn't get to choose.
It was I who chose.

Looking to the heavens above.

Its been a while since anything made sense...
Every passing day is another day forward...
Forward to happiness.

My mind and heart.

My mind and heart;
are tearing me apart.

I'm sorry for I am weak.

I'm sorry for what I have become.
The pain inside that tears away at me is but a pain I have tried so hard to remove yet I am face with an unmovable wall of sorrow that traps my heart in its grip.

I long so much to truly hold you yet I cannot bear to put myself at risk for loving you means strapping a target on my back and praying you don't pull the trigger.

I am but a shell of my former self for I have sunk so slow beneath the depths of sorrow that every breath I take escapes me.

Leave me be if you're not willing to take the plunge to save me from this dark waters.
but if you choose to jump, do it with an unshakable intent that no measure of doubt can prevail.

I'm sorry.

A simple quote.

I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne'er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,
When Sorrow walked with me.

ROBERT BROWNING HAMILTON

If only I could.

If you make me yours,
I'll make you mine.

When it happens... You'll know.

Don't be so eager to throw yourself at the next decent person you meet....
Don't be so eager for love to happen...
cause when it does... You'll know...
Just have a little faith... Its worth the wait.

*Just wished it would hurry up tho*

Here we go round and round~

Have you ever felt like you're not going anywhere? The feeling like you're no different now than you were yesterday or last week or even last year?

Its like I'm not moving forward! Staying stationary or going round in circles and getting nowhere! Its just as if someone up there is rocking me around with his little finger and can't make up his mind on where he should move me next!

My reply to the higher power upstairs! GET ON WITH IT! I ain't got all millenia you know!

I need a break, a vacation...Time to myself and a place to break out of this miserable pattern of Déjà vu!


Q : Why couldn't the good times last this long?
A : Life was still a bitch last time I checked~

Do you even see me?

I miss you whenever your not around...
yet.. when I'm with you, I feel lonely still...

There is hope... I hope so.

I have always acted on the assumption that if I did good things, good things will happen to me.
I still believe it to a certain extent but the world is really turning out to be a shitload of well shit...

I walk around filled with hatred and jealousy with all the imperfections of the world glaring back at me, I can't help but wish I could change them all.
Why did this guy get to be so good looking? Why does this other guy get to be that rich?
How can that girl be so happy? Why aren't I that happy?!

Telling yourself to let go of all the things you have no control of was a good idea but for the present its been kinda hard implementing it. I know I should strive harder to change the things that are in my power but traveling alone in an already long and lonely path trying to right all the wrong in my life is just sometimes so overwhelming to the extent that the temptation of giving up is so hard to resist.

When did I turn so bitter and started to hate the very life that use to bring so much joy and hope to me....

Give it time and I will continue to learn and be a better and stronger man...

Trust that I can.

Not who but when.

I don't get love sometimes... The deeper you believe in it the harder you fall when it all comes crashing down...

Do we really have a perfect half that makes us whole or are we just lonely beings who need someone to call ours...

Love's a funny thing....
Maybe its not who you meet... but more when you meet...

Now perhaps?

Time crawls when the only thing you're waiting for never shows,
and the hope that keeps us waiting is but an empty shell of false expectations.

You never did notice.

The smallest of details is what makes the world go around.
yet you always miss every discrete detail that would have made all the difference.

A tear overlooked in the haste of your actions brings a rush of emotions that keeps nagging endlessly.

If I had told you what you missed, would you act otherwise?
Tell me you would.

The day it all changed.

It was a hot shiny day and by the whim of my heart I took to the beaches in search of some private time away from all that was not right with the world.
Strolling across the beaches with the wind grazing me with its constant presence as it rushed through my hair occasionally accompanied by the unwelcome streams of sand, I was content with life till the very moment where out of nowhere a young lady came crashing down upon me knocking the both of us down.
Never had I seen such beautiful eyes staring back at me which glowed even brighter then the burning sun hovering just above her in the distance. Buried under her weight and lost in her eyes, my heart throbbed like never before.

Little did I know that this was the girl that would change my life as I helped her up and tried to convince her over and over again through her sincere yet shy apologies that all was fine.But my heart knew...

As she threaded across the sands to return to her friends, I couldn't help but called out to her,
cause even I know you don't meet someone this special everyday.

It was planned right from the very beginning.

The breath that took away your heart no longer resides in the very same person where it originated from...

Although lost, there is hope that it can be found...
someday...

Who What Where Why When?!

Where is the wrong in doing something bad if the only person you hurt is yourself?

What if the hurt from doing the wrong thing doesn't hurt as much as doing the right thing?

Who would know if you cheated along the way of healing your broken heart as long as it healed?

Why should the pain of heartache take away simple pleasures that once made you happy even if isn't the right thing to do?
and,
When will my broken heart ever heal if it ever will.....

Where are you?

All I have to give is the love in my heart yet I find noone to give it to.

Find a reason to smile the next time you find yourself not smiling.

Broken hearts and broken dreams are but a few of the many many things wrong with our lives!

But hey, tomorrow still comes and goes no matter what happens to you.
When bad things happen, the world seems so dark and grey yet if you take a look around you.... I'm pretty sure you can find someone smiling, so go out and see the world! The world hasn't changed, its your view on the world that has changed!

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and lock yourself away in the dungeons of your room and go out! Talk to people! There is so much more to the world and life that you haven't even started to experience!

Life has many chapters and your current chapter is only one of many many wonderful chapters in the course of your long and winding journey through life!

So ask yourself....
Whats the point in living if all you do is waste it?

A quiet birthday that made me happy.

April 14th

I just turned 20 today~
There were no celebrations, no cakes, no presents.
It was a quiet birthday that passed by ever so silently but was filled with many many blessed wishes~ =)

But truth be told....
I was happy...

My birthday is not something I look forward to...
This year tho, I was determined to be happy!
It didn't matter what happens on your birthday...
Its how happy u make it...
You could have the biggest party and receive the best presents ever but if at the end of the night you're forced to fake a smile when you feel like your surrounded by a wave of strangers and you know you should be happy but deep down you know your not....
It hurts....

So I laid down on my bed with my heart opened up to the skies and with hope and a quiet calmness that has been absent ever so long.... My birthday passed me by as silently as it came....
I am thankful~

There's nothing worse than knowing you'll never be good enough

What can I do if I am nothing to you?

Tell me what to do and allow me the opportunity to accomplish your heart's desires even if I am to fail oh so miserably.

Life is a journey of decisions

When I was young, the world didn't seem to big and so uninviting. Everyday was a new opportunity to learn and explore new things, every step I took meant so much more back then. A lollipop could place the biggest of smiles on our face as the simplest of things brought the purest of happiness to us cause life then was so much more simple yet so so wonderful.

Then we grew up.....

Life became grey and complicated as we go through our days seeking for satisfaction and happiness that never could be found. We searched for happiness in all the wrong places and when something good came along, we choose to settle for what we can get and not what we really want thus giving up on all the dreams and ambitions our heart desired so long ago.


We give up on true love and settle for someone we like.
We give up our dreams for security.
We give up uniqueness for social acceptance.

And soon broken dreams and unsatisfied hearts fill our lives and the once so beautiful world crumples ever so slowly.

Life is a journey that is filled with many many paths, and at every fork comes with a decision to make. Every morning we wake up, a decision needs to be made but we have all fallen so deeply into routine that we don't even realize that we just made the decision to not make a change.

So I decided that life isn't gonna wait around waiting for me to make a change!

Its now or never!



What would you like to change bout your life today?

Happiness puts a smile on life

It all started at this year's CNY! The year of the tiger has not been kind to me.

List of unlucky events that plagued me.

1. The week before CNY, I was waiting in a line behind this car at a T junction and all of the sudden some girl on her motorbike crashes into me! Had to rush to KL to get a new bumper just so I wouldn't have a scratched up car for CNY!

2. Had an argument with my mum on the day I was going back to kampar, mummy didn't like it..... so... no money for me. Had to stop by the roadside to open my angpau's to pay for the toll! lol

3.Got back to Kampar after CNY just to find out I lost my gf to some other guy who she met during CNY at her hometown! Really heart broken!

4. Lady luck was nowhere near me this year as I lost and lost and continue to lose at every game I play!

Life really sucked the past month! But a few true friends namely my bro Yew Hau and my darling May brought me back into the light so I'm starting a new me!

A new life, a new beginning and a new chapter in life.

Sometimes the things we want aren't always the things we really need.

The new me says that happiness is the best thing to have in your life. It doesn't matter how fucked up your life maybe, its how happy you are with your fucked up life!
Cause the question to ask yourself isn't how much you got out of life but rather how happy were you with life.

No matter what happens, always try to find a reason to smile cause chances are there always ALWAYS is a reason.